[Steve]

Just got back into the San Jose Area after a long July 4th weekend (lots and lots of guests, BBQed all weekend) so before I hit the rack I thought it might be time for another story.

I was working Graveyard shift one weeknight in the Los Banos area with a partner. In those days, Los Banos had only one unit to cover the entire area on Graveyard shift, and as were all CHP Graveyard units, it was a 2-man unit. Being it was such a huge area to cover, and only one car, you would never have time to check all the beats. So the focus would be on checking the 70-mile stretch of Interstate 5 that was in the LB area, responding to radio calls, and as for all Graveyard units, looking for drunk drivers. Except that on I5 there were never many drunks. Especially during the week, it was mostly just truck traffic.

So we're checking the beat, going S/B on I5 from State Route 152 about 15 miles S/of 152, in the #2 lane at 75 MPH, when suddenly another vehicle comes flying up behind us, gets on our bumper, and stays there. I was driving a marked unit, a Dodge Diplomat, with a light bar, black and white paint, decals, everything. So I figure this is a motorist trying to get our attention, probably to report an emergency up the road somewhere. I'm waiting for flashing high-beams, or anything, to indicate this. Not that we're excited about pulling over in the middle of nowhere and having another vehicle pull in behind us, in a tactically very disadvantageous position. But it happens.

But this one just stayed there, on our bumper, nothing else. So I accelerated to 85. He stayed right with us. I slowed down to 55. He stayed on our bumper. Now we're getting interested; this is either someone who is very seriously impaired, or he's got something very bad planned. By this time we were getting close to Panoche Road, the last gas exit for 40 miles or so. The exit goes to a large, well-lighted area with several all-night gas stations and some restaraunts. This was a good place to exit and see what happened. As we exited sure enough the other vehicle followed. As we turned onto Panoche road I suddenly swerved to the right and onto a large paved shoulder area just to see what the other driver did. My partner had the shotgun; we're ready for anything that may happen.

Then the other vehicle passed by and the solo white male driver never even looked over at us, appearing to not even be aware that we were there. He pulled into a gas station and stopped at the pumps, exiting his vehicle as we pulled in behind and lit him up. As you may have already guessed, the driver was very intoxicated. He had never even noticed he was tailgaiting a marked patrol car and in fact did not see us as he passed by. For his lack of perception and attention to detail, plus violation of CVC 23152(a), he was provided with complimentary lodging in the Los Banos city jail for the night.

The story was unusual enough so after the arrest report was reviewed everyone knew about it. For the next month or so we heard, over and over again: "You guys can't even find any drunks, so they have to find you?"